FALLING IN LOVE

Sorry to throw a monkey wrench into what probably seems like a wholesome & uncontroversial topic. But I believe it’s something important to think about. So, what’s wrong with falling in love?

By the way, I’ll never forget Dave Roever’s classic response to one of his testosterone-driven SEAL buddies in Vietnam. After Dave scolded him for his foolish wild oat sowing, he justified it by saying, “But Dave, I’m in love.” He’d say, “Man, you’re not in love, you’re in heat!”

So, what about falling in love? First, who is the person affected by it? Do we normally start a relationship thinking in terms of the other person falling in love with us? No, it’s usually that I am falling in love with so-&-so. In short, “falling in love” is about me, not the other person (at least if we are willing to be brutally honest about it). Falling in love is pretty much a self-centered experience. Notice how people describe it: The other person makes my life complete; I can’t stop thinking about him/her, etc. etc. We generally describe love in terms that relate to our own wants, needs, feelings, etc.

Second, many believe that falling in love is a mysterious, magical, unpredictable experience that happens spontaneously to those who are lucky. I’ll grant that many married couples have remarkable & unique love stories that were totally unforeseen by them. But I also believe that for Christian couples, there is nothing uncertain or chance about their meeting & growing to love one another.

Check out both secular history & the biblical record & you’ll find out that most marriages were arranged. Even the famous love stories in Scripture (Ruth & Boaz, or Isaac & Rebekah for example) were arranged & agreed upon by the couples’ families.

Try this – the New Testament figure of Christ as the bridegroom & the Church as the bride was arranged as a part of the Father’s plan. I don’t know about you, but that sounds a lot like a planned/arranged marriage to me.

What am I saying? That there IS an element of mystery & unpredictability in love. But it’s not the Hollywood kind. It’s not the self-centered kind. It’s the kind that comes to those who seek God’s Kingdom & follow His plan for their lives.

I’m also saying that there is love in love. But, this kind of love is centered first on God’s love for us & our obedient, loving trust in Him. When a man & a woman have individually learned to follow God’s plan for their lives & realize that He is calling them to know & follow Him together, how can they not experience the most wonderful partnership? How will they not grow to love each other more & more with the passing decades?

Maybe instead of calling it falling in love, it might be better to call it being led deeper & deeper into love.